Daily life

Mirror oh mirror who is the crankiest of them all?

12:56 PM

The answer would be me, and that entry will be a venting one.

I'm used to DH's business trips, I spent years being an IT consultant wife. We shifted to Mumbai because DH was shifting to retail IT which was having much less travelling, but quite a demanding schedule of 6 days of work a week, longish commute at first, and then once he got nearer to home longer hours at work, needless I saw much less of him. We shifted to this very boring ugly far suburb of Mumbai because he has been wanting to try new career paths for quite sometimes, hell I even encouraged him to take that one that brought us to Mumbai, recognizing it was a risk, but that it was worth a try. The try was worth, what he learned there was good, but it was not working so he went back to consulting, this time for a small company and with it the travelling is back, even more travelling as they handles smaller Indian clients which means the assignments are also shorter.
Guess what? I'm fine with the travelling part, I know there are weekly or bi-monthly fly backs ask perks so I'm not really frustrated about that part.
The part that has me in sheer agony right now is this wretched city, I know I mentioned we will go back to Bangalore but as of now DH might even be put on a few months long assignment for a Mumbai based client so until he knows more about this one we are hanging in there, but these past three days he's been away in the North for an evaluation for a new client. And that stupid short 3 days trip has me boiling inside, with boredom, the usual stress of a single lady handling a toddler and a dog on her own with not much of a time out at the time she needs it the most, and what more trapped into an apartment in a sterile suburb and an even more sterile apartment complex.
I'm not complicated really, I need outdoor, I need space, and nature to regenerate and where I live offers nothing of all this. Walking just to the general store about 500 meters from my place to buy bread has me sweating and soaking all my clothes more than 5 minutes out and I'm feeling more or less like what an "idli" would look like when cooked and ready to eat. There are no parks, no trees, no fresh breeze around. Only that constant icky sticky feeling and smell of damp dust, pollution and this suffocation oppressive humidity. The only entertainment you find around in my area is the shopping mall, to do what? Buy clothes you will get to wear nowhere because it's impossible to have a fun life here? No thanks.
DH was suggesting I drive the car, not only am I still a bit apprehensive to drive, especially with a toddler in the back, the main issue is WHERE to go, it takes about 2 hours of stupid traffic jam to go to a beach that is smelly dirty and be harassed by hawkers every 5 seconds to buy pictures, henna, popcorn, chips, crackers, plastic balloons, watch a poor monkey tied to a rope perform tricks then another 2 hours to go back home with a toddler that still need diaper changes and tends to get fussy strapped in a car seat for long period of times. Or go to a more central place in Mumbai where I will anyway know nobody and spend time in a shops or a coffee shop alone?
These past few weeks I kept thinking of Bangalore and apart from the obvious that I know people there and have a satisfying social life there, there is the fact that commuting isn't a major pita, I know places, the city has more human proportions, and I can be out in a park and play with Ishita.
My current state of frustration bordering on sheer aggressiveness considering how much time I spent shouting for no reason all these past few days directly stems from the feeling of being caged in, waking up at dawn, to do nothing because there is nothing to do, getting frustrated when the maid linger in my place taking time to do things slow. Playing the same old games with Ishita having that urge inside me to just be outdoor, perhaps taking a long walk with my daughter in her stroller and the dog on the leash just taking in the sights and some reasonably fresh breeze, and then maybe I will not be such on edge about Internet not working for a day of not getting time at regular interval during the day in front of the TV or computer simply because my sweet daughter being as bored as I am I can feel won't let me read a book without tearing the pages.
I need to get out of there, I need a life back, and I guess I seriously need to sit DH down tonight to just get this whole getting back to B'lore thing into gear, otherwise I fear I'm going to crumble apart which I'm in no position to even be allowed to do considering that the consultant's wife always holds the fort.

2 comments

  1. Oh dear! Can totally empathize!
    And I know the weather in humid places like Mumbai can depress you no end. My parents live in Chennai and I detest the city for this exact same reason.

    Since your DH keeps travelling anyway, you & your baby shd consider coming back to Blr. Doesn't matter to him if you guys are in Mum or Blr when he is on bus travel anyway. He can finish this final Mumbai assignment and then join you guys in Blr..he can even visit you every alternate weekend until then..?

    Before you can actually make the move, in the mean time, what you need is company I guess. No like-minded people in the neighbourhood? How abt wives of your hubby's friends/colleagues who're probably as bored as you and are looking for company? Even if you can get out for couple hrs every day, that will rejuvenate you. If you dont want to drive, try a driver or a "call driver".

    How about some classes - baking/yoga etc, leaving Nishita with a toddler care center for couple hrs? Or can you shift to an apartment complex where you are sure to find company? Easier than shifting to Blr immediately!

    Which part of Mumbai do you live in? I'll find out if there's something to do. I have friends who are from Mumbai.

    You'll get thru this.. hang in there!

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  2. Enigma, I actually live in Navi Mumbai, so pretty far from everything rmotely interesting.

    The reasoning we had about hanging in there if DH lands the Mumbai based assignement is that at least we get time together every weekend and in the evening. But I think we will have to talk this through. I have the number of a call driver, the only thing I keep wondering about now is where to go really.

    Dh was thinking to maybe temporary shift to a place nearer to work, but we realised that for just a few months that's not really worth the hassle and the deposit money and the packing and shifting to end up paying more on rent for something smaller so we are kind of both sucking it up until we know when we can go back to B'lore.

    I'm pretty sure that if I were living in a less boring area there would be playgroups and activities I could join, but so far in my area all I found of remote interest is a tiny tiny library, but since a toddler doesn't live much time to read and I am one of these book junkie who likes to own her book I haven't really checked it yet.
    Fortunately I get to chit chat daily with my neighbour who has two kids older than Ishi but still loving to play with her and she is often alone because her hubby travels too.
    I think what really really gets on me the most is the climate and like of nice green space to be outdoor in, for that we are a bit spoiled having lived in Bangalore :-)

    I keep thinking that the day we get to move out of this place I'm going to break into a happy dance while packing boxes. I usually hate packing but gosh I think for the first time I'll get all happy and exited about it LOL

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