Thoughts

Introvert and proud to be

2:24 PM

I’ve been the quiet, almost invisible type all my life, in school in actually concerned my teachers a great deal, because they felt I was not participating, which resulted in my mom having to attend a great deal of parent teacher meetings in which she tried to defend my case, but kids have to be social, and I was in appearance not, some teachers with a bit more insight pointed out that I exclusively hang out with my two best friend and nobody else, they even tried to force me to make new friends by deliberately making me sit far away from my trusted circle, and placing me in study groups which incidentally had quite a few of my “enemies”, felt like a steak in the lion’s cage. One teacher pinned me as autistic, sent me and my parents to the State’s psychology department, for some testing, weeks of drawings, physical activities, story telling, and counselling the verdict was that I was normal, highly creative, but an introvert, and that there was nothing wrong with that, the teacher who sent me got the report, was a bit miffed, but after that realised that there was no point pushing me to be an extrovert because that was like taking a fish out of water and tell him to grow legs and walk, but I was still the oddity.

A couple of years back, I came to know about Meyers-Briggs personality type test that has been developed to identify which of the 16 personality types a person can fit in. he 16 types has been the work of psychiatrist Carl Jung. We all fit one type rather than another. Took the test, I’m an INFJ type, which stands for : Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Judging.
Apparently my type is one of the rarest of all 16, it is estimated that about 1% of the population is INFJ. And my type is highly intuitive, sensitive and internalize a great deal of feeling, rather than share concerns, they bottle up, they are capable of driving themselves sick rather than spread the burden. They rather have a close very exclusive of trusted friends than a crowd of acquaintances, social gathering are taxing draining affairs which are avoided as much as possible.

A big event such a wedding is taxing enough to have me want to stay home and do nothing the next day, always have, and back in my teenager’s day I really didn’t like parties, as an 18 year old I just didn’t like going to pubs or dance clubs, preferred having my close friends at home watching a DVD and chatting…got my family pin me as middle aged, or too serious, my Stepmom even tried to be my social event planner, trying to get me to parties with her sons, with me telling her to leave me alone, and her to tell my dad I was…um…weird. My dad who is pretty much an introvert himself never quite understood what she found weird.
Introverts though can be good actors and act like an extrovert should it be needed and even fool a crowd, but there are tell tale signs that they aren’t what they appear to be, INFJs are very private, and secretive, they will not share themselves willingly, or do so but strongly control what goes public and when, they are also by nature unintrusive, they won’t be the one to go toward someone and ask questions about the private life of someone, they are good at taking in the tiny bits of info that come their way, and their sharp intuition has them figure out things before a word is spoken.
INFJs are very loyal in nature, but you must earn their trust, and it doesn’t come easy, but once you gain it, it’s for life, and those in the close circle of friends are rarely demoted. If you have an INFJ type among your close friends, know you can count on them.

INFJs are the creative lot, many talented writers, and actors belong to that type, they also do great lawyers, social assistant, and therapists, they can be fierce fighters for the causes that they hold close to their heart, but in general hate conflict and will avoid the fight at all cost, but if it has to come down to it, know they won’t back down easy.

INFJs are their own hardest critic, they are personal overachiever, when a job has to be done it has to be done right away, and they will expense a great deal of effort having it out of the way, but the job gets done according to their rules, not the rules of other and while they are good at following their own guidelines they can seriously suck at following a plan that has been laid for them, unless they strongly feel the plan can work. This actually miffed some of my teachers in high school, and even my boss when I was an interior decorator apprentice, most saw me as a slacker, not following rules, not doing homework I didn’t feel like doing, but what annoyed them the most was that came exam time I was pulling it off, they expected to give me a F and I could easily come out with a B, or at the worst a C- if I really didn’t care about the topic, but with my own master plan I knew which topic I could afford to fail, which topic didn’t require me to work too hard to pull of an A and which required all my effort. My parents and some of my teachers said I had the capability of a straight A student, but that my stubbornness got in the way. The truth is that I never cared for school, I never saw the point of it, because one’s ability to recall when which king died and what revolution happened at what date, doesn’t prove you are smart, and a degree doesn’t prove you are worth more than someone without one, it just show how good a performing monkey you are, and I’m no performing monkey, I don’t work for peanuts. Obviously never made me popular with the majority, but I don’t really care. because what matter is what I think I’m worth and how I can improve myself, not what the world think I am worth or what I should do.

The reason I am writing all this now, is the result of a few days of reflexion, see I decided to embark on a new venture: Network Marketing. That might actually sound silly, because by default this involve interacting with others, but I still believe I can do it, I even told my mentor that I was an introvert and that going out there and getting as many lead as fast as possible was not a skill I was born with, but I’m willing to learn, I just know it will work better at my own pace than going as per the guideline’s have been given, I also said that my goal is less about fast money through fast achievement, and I believe I’ll end up in the same place at my own pace regardless.
As a child people made me feel being an introvert was a disease an ill to be cured, I now know that it means I have different strength and different weaknesses to work with, but that it’s as good as anything and that I can do as well as anybody else in this world.

5 comments

  1. Satyanarayanan9:10 PM

    I am also an INFJ Type Personality. I empathize with your predicament. For me also, a similar experience was vouchsafed in school. When I read about your experience in school, I feel as if I am looking at a mental image of myself. Needless to say, yours truly was not a people magnet as school. 
    I am happy to find a kindred spirit online.

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  2.  Hi and thanks for reading my blog and taking the time to comment.
    I think the Web is probably having a lot more introverts than extroverts around :)

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  3. Jobert4:43 PM

    Glad I stumbled onto your blog, and I look forward to reading more. I'm also an INFJ, and I just moved to India with my husband this past August. We live in Jaipur. I was googling "introvert in India" and found your blog. Funny! I was born in US, but my roots are all Swiss. :)

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  4. Hi! glad you found your way to my blog :) I have been living in India for 9 years now.
    From which part of Switzerland your roots are?

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  5. Jobert1:20 PM

    Einsiedeln. My grandfather was a dairyman in Switzerland, immigrated to the US in his 20s, and married a Swiss woman living in Kentucky. They unfortunately did not pass down much of the culture to their kids. My sister and I made a trip there in 2006, and met some of our relatives--grandchildren of my grandfather's sister. I really loved visiting there, as did my sister. We were mistaken for being Swiss many times, as people asked us for directions a lot in Zurich, especially. Cheese and chocolate are two of my favorite foods. I guess it is in my genes!

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