Daily life

So little time, so many ideas

5:32 PM

I have no idea if I’m still in post-relocation trauma recovery or not, but I am finding myself crunched for creative time, be it to write, paint, or cook (not that I have a lot of that one to think about anymore).
I find myself drifting through the day with pretty much little control about how things will go, minutes after shaking sleep from my limbs at the default of shaking it off my brain I’m springing into action, diaper changing, tea making, and playing VJ for my daughter who can’t decide exactly which cartoon she is in mood of watching, DH needs his lunch and breakfast to be packed, then the maid comes to clean, and Ishita and I play, so much so that by her nap time I am pretty numb, not necessarily physically sleepy, but intellectually not quite there, and just in mood for indulging in mindless computer gaming, or crappy TV watching, and before I know it nap time is over, lunch is coming next, playtime, DVD, cleaning mess follows suit, and by 6pm the maid is back to cook, a time I could afford to sit down and do something, but being a private person, I don’t like to paint in front of an audience, and when I write I prefer to have no distractions whatsoever, and interruptions such as “Didi which spice do you want in the dal” aren’t exactly something I enjoy while working on something.
I have a few blog ideas that are roaming through my head at the moment, they need to make it to the black book before I forget about them, I’m also working on a painting for our living room, which is half finished and which I’m intent on getting done before the end of the month. I also want to bake a few batches of good bread and muffins for our new bigger freezer section, and yes start planning to make the Christmas tree shaped Advent Calendar out of toilet paper cardboard roll I’ve been thinking about for several months.

I’m also realising that maybe falling into a routine after a move is what takes the longest, we still haven’t figured it all out. Even Ishi’s playground outing are erratic, mostly due to the monsoon, but also because Ishita isn’t as crazy about this playground as about the one in Bangalore, there is no sand to play with, her play friends aren’t there, and well for me, there aren’t many nice young moms around to interact with, it seems kiddos here are going out with their maid or grand parents at the time I usually go out, I am planning to try getting there later in the evening when more kids and parents go there, but that means I have to wait for the maid to finish cooking, by which point I just want a time out. And by 8pm I just want to spend time with DH rather than work on one of my project. I’m stuck in that awkward situation I wish I didn’t need to sleep…sigh.
Another realisation is that I’m now really thinking it is time for Ishita to go to preschool, be with kids her age, and have a social life outside just Mommy, 6 months ago when ladies in my building in Bangalore were asking which school I was planning to put her into I was seriously thinking they were a bit crazy as Ishi wasn’t even 2, but I am now starting to see the point of it all. If there is a stage at which a woman wants to reclaim a bit of her life and do things for herself instead of everybody else around here then I must be there. Being on duty 24/7 is starting to feel a bit old, in the past 2 years I’ve never been alone, I forgot what it is like to shop alone, I haven’t gone for a pedicure, tried to go for a haircut with Ishita when she was younger, but there is nothing indulgent about sitting on high alert listening to you own child screaming and crying because she is scared of your stylist and the hair drier. The one time I went out to go shopping without her was when DH was home and Ishi was napping, all I got was one hour, as she woke up realising I was no longer in the flat (She has a 6th sense for that it seems) and DH called me on my mobile totally clueless about what to do, leaving me slightly smug I admit as I’ve been telling DH I wouldn't give him one day alone with Ishita without him begging me to come back…turns out one hour is pretty much his limit already…men!
Yes I’m about ready to have Ishita in school now, but I’m also pondering bigger questions too, namely what to I want for my daughter as far as preschool is concerned? many Indian parents I met all boasted about the fact their school introduce math early, or that the specific school they put their toddler into has them write prefect sentences by age 5-6, all kind of things that are let’s be honest freaking me out a little, I don’t want my daughter to be academically sound by the time she enters Junior KG, I want her to have fun playing with other kids and be creative, I don’t want to hear she should be talking that much by now, or be potty trained, or be able to draw a few letters. My daughter speaks very little so far, she is dealing with learning 2 languages simultaneously with a good measure of English thrown in as the cherry on the cake, she thinks the potty is a toy, and that scribbles are the best thing ever, and as a mom and the daughter of a preschool teacher myself I thought that was fine. But hearing parents bragging about their tots achievement, reading articles about how that kid or this kid has raffled honours at an early age, I am starting to fear that some teachers or principals might actually sermon me about the importance of pushing kids to get ahead of themselves. So yes I need to get Ishi in school, but I really need to find the right place.
But that probably will be the topic of a few more blog posts to come in the next few months? This one is to let you know I’m still there, full of ideas as usual, and looking for time and energy to get them out.

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