Daily life

Wiped Out

12:39 PM

I have no idea if it is the new school routine, or the festive season but I feel like I have been ran over by a truck, I never seem to catch my breath and I don’t think I have ever felt more in need of a holiday and relaxation ever in my life.
Between the school’s special events, the public holidays, the social events punctuating my life, the challenge to raise a pre-schooler, and the trying to remain a human being with a few hobbies of my own I end up feeling beat by 9pm but still unable to sleep.

Yesterday was the first day in 4 years and a few months that I had more than 2 hours of quiet in a row and Ishita out of the house. She went on a field trip with her class from 8 am until 3.30pm and while it felt weird to not have her around in the morning, after a little while I realised I have never had a single break of that length since she was born, not once. In 4 years 3 months I never had more than 2.5 hours of solitude a day. Schools in India are sadly money making machines and they will squeeze as many batches of pre-schoolers and kindergarten kids as they can in a day, which means school rarely go beyond 3 hours for this age range, in Switzerland kids start Jr-Kg at the age of four like here, but are in school 6 hours a day. And proof is that kids this age have the energy level to tackle it. Ishita was out sightseeing South Mumbai the whole day yesterday, with a big picnic in the Hanging Gardens toward the end, when I picked her up at 3.30 she still had enough energy to stay awake until the maid came and play a solid hour at the playground with her friends and went to bed at her usual 7.30pm time without being more whiny or crankier than usual. For me however the few extra hours of quiet helped me be a better less worn out person toward the end of the day, it’s not even that I napped, it’s just that I spent the day doing my usual load of house work without having to interrupt myself every 10 minutes to hear a screeching “maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” followed by a request spoken on an authoritative tone only a 4 years old can master. It was 7 hours of me knowing that I could focus on one thing at a time without feeling guilty of neglecting my daughter, without the pressure of trying to do it all at once. The first day since I became a mother I actually felt efficient and in control rather than feeling like I was flying from one chaos to the next.

The break is over though, and next week is the final week before a 3 weeks Diwali holiday break, packed with activities as usual: Halloween party which will have me crafting a witch hat out of paper due to lack of dress up costumes in stores (real Halloween ones such as ghost, vampire and witches as the school wants to teach the kids about the original one). Then with a little witch in tow I will find myself running to the sweet store as the next day we’ll trade the black outfit for a colourful ethnic one as Diwali will be celebrated in school with the teachers asking us to send two sweets along with the child for the occasion. Then Saturday morning we’ll get a parent teacher meeting before the end of the term, and oh yeah, I need to print a picture of a living thing for show and tell which will take place sometimes in that week too. With the Diwali break I will need to find things to do and craft projects to keep Ishi off the TV, then will come the usual Diwali shopping and revelry before we pack our suitcases and head to a tropical vacation for one week of beach, and carefree time that both DH and I really need. Our last fun holiday was back in 2009 when we heaved to Manali, we haven’t been on a real vacation since then (visiting the in-laws in Lucknow doesn’t count as one).

At this point it seems that the past few months whipped my butt, but I find myself wondering if it was not the past 4 years that did it. The 3 relocation in a year in 2010-11, the additional relocation last December, the many job changes DH went through, the stint he did as a traveling business consultant that left me handling the ship alone for 8 months, the financial stress he had while on that same job…that seems more than enough to really tire someone in the long term, add to this the demands of being a parent of a toddler no wonder I am feeling the way I do today.
Right now I am feeling that urge to simplify things in my life even more than ever.

Less feels definitely like more in this very moment.

3 comments

  1. Susan5:10 PM

    I think your body is really exhausted but knows there is some relaxation and rest coming soon. I tend to get really tired and at the end of my rope just before my summer vacation (I'm a teacher and get 2 months vacation in the summer). I hope you have a wonderful vacation! It sounds really nice : )

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  2. November cannot come soon enough :) I feel totally worn out.

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  3. You've definitely had a very busy time in recent years. When we're going through all of that we often don't see just how busy we are. You needed this break. I'm glad you got to enjoy it.

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