Daily life

And quietly…

1:11 PM

Very quietly, a milestone was crossed, not because I have forgotten (you can’t forget that kind of thing), but because I am not big on huge productions and celebrations.
In November 2003 I took one giant step that has altered my life forever : I left Switzerland to follow my hear to India. And not once have I ever looked back on that decision, never had a remorse, but I am really not the type to dwell on things, I keep on moving. I could go on and on elaborating on how India changed me, but then anything would have changed me, I would have changed just the same staying in Switzerland, we all change, all the time regardless of where we are, chain of events will always do that for you. So I won’t be going in the cliché of how the country in which I live altered me, mainly because after 10 years I can’t even be sure whether the changes I have been through are India specific or not. The way I see it I could have had experienced many of these lessons anywhere in the world.
In 10 years I have experienced moving to a new country after giving away or selling pretty much all my belongings, starting anew in a place that is as different from home as it is unfamiliar. Went through trials and errors in my quest to feel at home, went from mistaking assimilation for integration, figured it all out and stroke a balance. I got married, got pregnant…twice, dealt with the grief of one miscarriage before Ishita came into the world. Got a dog for the first time in my life, figured out that intercultural relationships aren’t that different from others, you are just more aware of certain things and the need to work on them, but they aren’t different than any others. I worked, I lived life, I cried, I loved, I enjoyed just as I would probably have in Switzerland. I went from being a single lady with few big responsibilities to being a parent…I’m still learning that part…always will.
9 years of that decade I blogged, found out I love it. I learned a lot…we all do, all the time. I had expectations, met with disappointment, that’s all part of life.
I honestly haven’t missed Switzerland much, and as I said never regretted my move, simply because without this move I wouldn’t have what I have today and I won’t be who I am. Don’t ask me how I did it, I just did there is no magic involved, no superpower needed.

I could give tips on how to adjust to India, but in the end it doesn’t really matter, the single most important one is to never try being what you are not, but to figure out who you are you need to loose yourself…a lot, so my advice is :

Live life, big, according to your rule, you’ll never please everybody so don’t try, fail, learn from your own mistake, succeed at last. Fail again, because you always will be presented with new lessons in life. And always remember to catch your breath once in a while to be able to take in your sums of efforts and accomplishment and be grateful for it all. And next time you find yourself head first in the mud, know that 10 years from now you will probably see things from a different perspective, what that perspective will be depends largely on how you take the moment.

Finally I could go on how India changed a lot in 10 years, it has, it truly has, but again everybody and everything changes, so there is not much point in giving you an expose on that here. My blog is proof enough of that change and it will keep on showing it.

On these words, I will conclude this post, simply because I’m looking forward, never backward.

17 comments

  1. apple3:59 PM

    Congratulations. I also moved into my own home in 2003 with my mother, in a suburb of Delhi, after spending my whole life in the heart of South Delhi. I too had apprehensions like u but a little different. I spent my entire life in Government accommodation where life was comfortable. Moving to my own home was a whole new ball game. Worrying about water, electricity and maintenance which was taken care of by the government in my old home, not to mention transport problems. Thank god Delhi Metro is made life easy.

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  2. Theres is something special about moving to be on your own right? Congrats on your own milestone.
    I knew the drill of rent, water, and electricity because I lived for 3 years on my own before moving to India, so at least that tiny bit wasn't alien territory :)

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  3. Forward forever, backward never. :) I've followed you for a very long time. Even before you got married. I was trying to remember where it was from. Something Village it was called Ivillage I think it was. I remember when you were planning for your wedding you posted your blog and it has been since then I read all your entries.
    Best wishes to you and your Family.
    From a reader & well wisher from Trinidad and Tobago.

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  4. And thanks for that advice.

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  5. Thank you! You have been indeed following me for a very long time. The village I think was iVillage right?

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  6. You are welcome :)

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  7. l lost my father in 2002 just before we moved in. I missed his guidance and security. When we moved in, I and my mother were like Sindbad and his sailors, embarking on a unknown journey.



    I realized that there is something called hard water/soft water, supply water and borewell water. In a government quarter we got water of good quality two times a day. That was the only kind of water we knew off. If something broke, get it repaired by the govt department responsible for maintenance absolutely free. In you own house, it cost a bomb to get a bathroom repaid.



    We faltered, stumbled and learned on the way. This year in July, I lost my mother. I felt that I lost my trusted ally with whom, I started this journey. Within a span of ten years I lost both my parents, so I guess life has come full circle for me. Your blog post kind of triggered off memories. Anyway, show the full to whatever life throws at you, and hit it out of the boundary for six.


    BTW, what about your pet phrase "In my eight and half year of life in India or was it nine and half year......". I loved the phrase.

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  8. So sorry to hear about your loss.


    In Switzerland we call that living on your own phase the learning phase of adulthood, or the fresh out of the nest phase.
    I don't remember the exact pet phrase, but yeah that sounds like something I would say more than once. On many front the past decades do feel like a brand new life.

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  9. apple1:25 PM

    I always felt something grand motherly about that pet phrase. Something elderly would tell their young upstart children just to teach them about life and its struggles.

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  10. Yes, I think it was!

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  11. Yep once you go past the exotism, we are all the same. And there are more similarities than there are disparities.
    What's more you don't really need to go to extreme to fit in either, there is a balance to achieve of course but it is possible to remain yourself in India, which might not be all too obvious in the begining when you are coping with culture shock, and trying to ajust.

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  12. Congratulations Cyn.. It takes a lot of courage to live abroad from your homeland. You have done a wonderful job at settling in and making India your home. The way you lead your life and the glimpses we get here, are always an inspiration on how I need to live my own life or parent my child. Cheers!!

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  13. Awwww thanks for the warm fuzzies.
    Long time no see, how have you been? Are you still blogging, I think I lost the link when google reader went down.

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  14. Nope. Unfortunately I am not blogging anymore. I got into a new role at work which meant that my Work From Home days were over. Hence, I spend all the free time with family if I m not working. Yet to find the balance that would let me blog. Btw, I bought an oven for Diwali and I am quite the pizza queen at my home. Thank you for the inspiration behind that purchase.

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  15. Alexandra Madhavan1:54 PM

    Amazing post. I loved every word!!!!!!! So much wisdom.
    xo

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  16. Aren't the homemade pizzas the best? I haven't ordered a pizza since december 20th last year when we were moving out of our old flat, homemade pizzas rule supreme in my home too, and will forever from now on.

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  17. They are awesome. Both the Hubby and I have deleted our Dominos App from our phone.. We have not ordered a single pizza since I have been making them once a week ever since...

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