Daughter

6 years ago...

10:05 AM

6 years ago today, my life changed forever.
It sounds horribly cliché but it did. It was a little past midnight, after way too many hours of labour and 9 months of expectations that I pushed my daughter into this world.

I remember it, I was eager to know that little stranger that took my womb for a Kung Fu school (or a dance studio). Indian laws prohibit you to know the gender of your unborn child, so I had 9 months to wait and see. 9 months during which I was absolutely sure I was having a girl despite every single old wives tales on the planet predicting me a boy (if you needed a proof they are all malarkey...you have it).


July 6 2009

Exactly, day for day 3 years after DH and I walked around a fire and took seven steps and vowed to be there for one another always.


Frozen theme cake

We didn't choose that date, it wasn't planned, Ishita was due July 8 and my OB swore she would go overdue because a week before her birth nothing indicated she was ready to come out on time (Doctors are often completely wrong on that so you know).
But there I was on my 3rd anniversary, blessed with the best gift you can ever expect from your partner. She was my gift to him as much as she was his to mine.
It however took me a few days to really see the idea sink in. I was a MOTHER.

I've been entrusted the life of a tiny creature when I was still not completely sure I could trust myself to know what was good for myself (and guess what I still have no idea)

I didn't know a lot of things back then:

- I didn't know that parenting was a full time job, with on the go training, and a never ending learning curve.

- I didn't know I would kiss goodbye to a full night of sleep for years to come.

- I had no idea that the fear of miscarriage that haunted me for 9 months would be replaced by the fear of loosing my daughter and that this fear will continue a few lifetimes if not eternity.

- I didn't expect to feel like a blob months after giving birth...I blame society as a wide for wanting women to alway look thin and perfect.

- I sure as hell didn't think I could best my dog at shedding, but 3 months postpartum, I did.

- I didn't expect I would be running behind my daughter before she turned one, but the kicking and punching she did in my womb should have clued me in on her activity level. I had a walker/runner/climber before she turned 1

- Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the terrible twos

- Or what I call the terrorist threes

- No, really nobody told me that a toddler presented with a pancake folded in quarters when they expected a roll would mean the end of the world and me running to the bathroom to cry.

- I had no idea what I was getting into, and I still have no idea.


There are many things I learned on the job though :

- Nobody has the absolute authority on the best way to raise a child. Do as you wish, and pay no heed to all those that will tell you otherwise. Your child didn't come out of their birth canal.

- Years of watching Mc Guyver on TV as a child pays off, you learn to solve problems at home such as : Hello Kitty cup stuck beyond window grill, all you can use is an old hanger, duct tape and a broomstick. Or favourite toy in the toilet bowl, and no gloves on hand...(hint it involves shopping bags)

- I learned the name of all the Disney princesses and the colour of their dresses.

- The one thing you thought was too out of reach will still be reached.

- I learned the rope of monster hunting and killing...Yes, damn right I did!

- I learned that you can only make friends with your child's friends mother, there is no time for any other type of socialising.

- I learned that peace and quiet is far more awesome than I ever did before kids, and I am an introvert who already loved peace and quiet to begin with.

- I became an expert on kids movies. Quizz me, I dare you, this is all I watch these days.

- Just this past weekend I learned that if the cat peed in the Lego box, and your daughter sealed it shut with a few leftover candies and a pot of yogurt (don't ask), there is no point in trying to save the Legos. The stench was awful, I tried to boil the Legos in detto lol water, they all started to melt and I had to throw them in the bin regardless...all of them. FYI cat pee, sealed in a box with food turns into a creep biology project that involves a lot of maggots...don't do it at home kids!

Oh yes, you learn tons, and tons and it never ends, you keep on learning. And you realise that none of what they ever thought you in school past elementary school will ever be useful in your life, especially as a parent.
Kids defy all logic, and laws, physical or otherwise. They even make you time travel, bringing you back to your own childhood when you put your parents to at least as much hell. I can't tell you how many times I felt sorry for my mom.

Having kids is a hell of a ride, and it is the best ride ever! I sure don't regret it, not even when I bang my head in a wall repeatedly with the intent to merge with said wall. I assure you, not even then, and I would not trade it for the world...

A glass of wine from time to time, yes, the world? No

12 comments

  1. Anonymous3:56 PM

    congratulations on this wonderful coincidence. many happy retuns of the day to Ishita.

    apple

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5:51 PM

    Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday Ishita! You're absolutely right about parenthood. I absolutely love it, but it's tough!
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you,
      It sure is a tough job, the toughest I would say, because you go in with no training, there is no sick leave, or any leaves at all, and you cannot quit or get fired, yet it is the most rewarding job done for no money.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous3:06 PM

    my son is fond of doremon so we have seen all the episodes many times over. though the message given by the programme that there is a gaget for everythinh is very negative, mr. maker with its crafts projects is very good, so are cartoons based on mythology like the adventures of krishna with modern twist. my son has learned many of the songs associated with cartoons, atleast he sings if not talk. we had only disney characters and no indigeneous ones. now there is more variety.

    apple

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ishita is a bit young for these cartoons, I found them to be a bit too harsh and crude for her to watch just now. Doreamon is banned in my home, she used to whine and complain and really drive me crazy after watching these. The Message is really too negative. I think she has a lifetime to learn about mythology. I myself didn't learn any mythological stories before the age of 9-10 and really started grasping them well enough when I was 12 we as adults make the connection between the classic tales and the modern twist, kids don't. I think as good as the modern takes on all mythological stories can be, it should not be watched or read before the original :-)

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:44 AM

      some of the gadgets like the mind altering one is downright sinister. the family is also very un asian. it does nothing to improve the grades of nobita, the mother just yells. in a true japanese family nobita would have been kicked long ago lol. it also reinforces gender stereotypes, mother always in kitchen father reading newspaper. overall, don't study play with gadgets.

      as for mythology, these cartoons concentrate on the qualities of that the characters are known for, like krishna for his naughtiness and adventures as he is described in the sacred texts. they need not know that he was incarnation of lord vishnu. the children atleast get to known these characters modern or otherwise. there is no hope that they will pick up a historical or mythological book all by themselves any time in future. who cares about mythology anyway?? something is better than nothing.

      have you read amar chitra katha which have wonderful stoeies on mythology and history with beautiful pictures. one fantastic book for children or tales from "Panchatantra"

      http://www.talesofpanchatantra.com/panchatantra_shortstories_kids.php

      http://www.ack-media.com/AmarChitraKatha.aspx

      few books and stories which are very good for children.

      apple

      Delete
  4. Anonymous3:11 PM

    this is for ishita on her birthday the legendary children's song which almost everyone of my generation knew by heart

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuPb_5ZcA34

    apple

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ishita knows that one by heart, they learned it in school last year :-) for a while this is the only song my husband and I would hear, on no end, if it was not her singing, it was on YouTube. After nearly 3 months of hearing it non stop my husband and I were really desperate for her to just get addicted to another song already LOL

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:54 AM

      there are very few songs made for children so this song was rock anthem of our generation.

      another children;s song which is very popular is this

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQfWWWMrvyE

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHErjN1pcAI

      this innocent song has been corrupted like this

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PWOcdNgXrI

      doodh ki katori (bowl of milk) replaced by daaru ki katori (bowl of alcohol)

      now, children will learn the corrupted version and not know the original. atleast they should spare some songs which are immortal.

      apple

      Delete
  5. this in an old post, but that's how far I am, had a little break. :) And I just love the way you write. Funny, but openly. And I openly can say, I love this post. :D
    I won' t have any belated birthday wishes as the post was almost a year ago, but still best wishes for your family. :)

    ReplyDelete

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