Daily life

Oh world please stop turning, I can't face you

12:41 AM

We all had those days at least once in our life. You know what I mean, one of those days you want to hide in the broom closet and cry because you are not though enough to face the world.

The first few weeks in India where really though and I can't even count how many hours I spent feeling frustrated and nearly screaming it out. That's one of the things you have to learn to expect when you move to another country. Yes, you WILL feel disoriented, lost and alone.

This past Sunday and Monday I was in one of those rut, my bf came home for the week end with his own worries, mostly about money. When he is tensed I can't help but feel tensed too. 

So, there I was, upset, because he wouldn't tell me what was really wrong. Leaving me on the edge of calling my life a total failure because he was igoring me. Plus, there was no chocolate in the fridge and that all I needed was a hug and kiss.

Worse, he left me in this state and went sleeping for a little while. All I could do was shed a tear or two and keep myself busy in the kitchen throwing ustensils violently into the sink just for the pleasure of being able to measure my degree of angriness on a known scale.

By the end of today, I was still really upset with life in general. Not that something really went wrong. I was just fed up, feeling lost and confused. By that time bf realised that something must have been wrong and tried to talk to me. And, of course started it all wrong and ended making me cry. When he asked me why I was crying I couldn't explain, there was no words.

Instead I just said to myself :

" My you really need to be a woman to understand why I'm crying".

For sure my female friends would have understood without even asking me why.
Anyway after a couple of well deserved hugs, bf had to go back to Bangalore and I still had wet eyes, when I finally was alone in the flat. I went to bed for a little while and all I could say was :

World please stop turning, I can't face you right now.


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