Social life

The value of Friendship

8:54 AM

Friendship's price and value sure seem to have been lowered with all those networking sites sprouting like weeds on the world wide web. Facebook, Orkut, My Space...and many many more seem to have for message that making friend and keeping in touch has now become easier.

I myself have Facebook and Orkut, I use the first one more than I use the second simply because it seem like all my old friends in Switzerland use it and they are the persons I truly know and it offers indeed a good way to catch up with them and re-connect with some you lost contact with in the mayhem that is called life.
Other than that, I don't really see the use. And one thing that irks me about those is how people took the habit of adding you to their list as if you were yet another sticker in a collection album. Or those who practically beg you to be their friend in a whiny personal message going as far as giving their phone number, email, instant message ID and more. Needless to say I turn those down instantly.
I'm one of those who think friendship is a seed you plant and need to nurture, not something you buy ready made from a store. I make friends slowly, and everybody in my circle started as acquaintance with the appropriate privilege it brings, and gradually upgrade all those worthy of it to a higher rank and higher position in my social circle, those at the top know they can count on me, and I know I can count on them, so fare I don't think I ever downgraded a friend belonging to the inner circle. I might loose touch for a while, but I never forget.
I'm also the one who will never coldly send an email to an acquaintance or a nobody for that matter and say "I like ur profile a lot plz b my frnd" (my second pet peeve are those who want to be my "frnd" and do not know how I hate those who don't have the time to write full sentences or words). And just because I wrote on my profile that I like books and gave a few titles, enjoy certain movies, or that I crave sushi doesn't mean one KNOWS me, it take years to know someone, and I prefer live exchanges to know someone.
Not that there is anything wrong with Internet, far from it, I in fact made some great friendship with the use of Yahoo Messenger and ICQ (I wonder if people still remember this one), or through blogs and other common interest on the web. I just don't think that just because you add another "avatar picture" to your list you gained a friend, and I'm a bit suspicious of those who claim to have 1689 friends in their networking site of choice.

Another thing that really concerns me regarding those desperate people, is how easily they share private informations about themselves, how many times did I get a message with their phone number in it? I stopped counting. And don't get me started about those who openly tell you where they live (and I don't mean the city, I mean the neighbourhood) on your "wall" or "scrap book".
I got raised to be suspicious and not share too many informations, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who had parents nagging them about those things. So the only logical explanation for those who think sharing such infos with total strangers on networking sites would be that they think they are safe online? Would those very same people who harass me to be their friend and publish their everything about themselves give a total stranger at the bus stand their phone number, or their address? I don't think so. But I would love to know when did people think that internet was a safer place where all rules can be forgotten.
And has it become so old fashionned to make friends the old way? Have we sunk so low that we do not value friendship as much as we used to and see it as a contest in which the one with the most "friends" on his facebook account is the winner?


  1. Oh boy did you ever say it right! I once got a message from someone on MySpace that said "Why did you deny my "frndshp" request? Nobody denies MY frndshp! I have over 2000 frnds!" I just shook my head and blocked her. There is too much emphasis on getting your friends list jam packed with pictures that I think people have completely lost the entire idea of being friends. I wonder how many friends these people have "in real life". Friends are few and treasured in my opinion, and I would like to keep it that way.

    Hope you're having a great day Cyn!

  2. " if they can have 2000 friends online :-)

    I hope you are having a good day too.

  3. Hi Cyn, I agree. Personally, I have a genuine interest in being friends with someone if I would add them to my "social networking site".
    What gets me is some want to add you then they don't actually reply to your hello email. That's just goofy.
    A genuine friendship takes time to develop! :-)

  4. limoncello : )10:42 PM

    hey, girl! it's me...from ivill, dropping in to say, "hello!" and agreeing with everything you said. so sad how many people out there are so oblivious about internet safety.

    hope all is well with you. my best to your DH.

  5. Hi Limoncello!

    DH and I are both fine :-) Glad to see your comments as always :-)


Blog Archive