Do you have a cook?

12:23 PM

No thank you very much for asking!

But seriously now that the new is out that I'm pregnant, it seems that people in India ask this question a lot, sometimes along with the "You should really have a full time servant now".

I know that it might come as a cultural shock but heck pregnant women aren't fragile little things that should be condemned to the life of couch/bed potato during 9 months. And even my OB said being moderately active is very good. So please please dear Indian middle class forgive me for not seeing the point of having a total stranger invade my private life 14 hours a day just so I won't have to water my plants, make tea and cook meals, which by the way aren't so strenuous activities if you organize yourself properly.
Pregnant women in Europe still work full time until nearly delivery unless there is a strong medical reason for them to be on bed rest, they drive vehicle, move around, take public transports, cook their meals, and lead a perfectly normal life during their whole pregnancy and deliver perfectly healthy babies, and yeah have no more or less risk than miscarriage than in any other culture.

While all of those who have a full time servant/maid/cook here in India will sing the praise of such an arrangement, I'm going to just once and for all put down my apprehension to having such a thing doom my household:

- Lack of privacy: a full time maid watches you at all time, she stays in your house the whole day, and you will feel obligated to dress up every morning even if all you want is to stay in your jammies, she will know what you watch on TV how you lie down on the sofa, what you eat as a snack, when you shower, and you will feel a bit more silly breaking into a song or doing a stupid dance move in your own house just because you suddenly have an observer. And then you will have to face the gossip brigade when she will tell all the fun fact about her employer to all her friends who will tell it to all their friends and neighbour...not worth the aggravation if you ask me.

- Lack of freedom: Unless you highly trust your maid, which isn't an easy thing to do in India you feel grounded and on house arrest to protect all your belongings from a potential robbery, you need to keep an eye on your maid as well making sure she doesn't snatch stuff from your kitchen, and respect boundaries. Having a full time maid in fact add to responsibilities rather than help you, sure you aren't cutting your onions yourself, instead you place a seat in your kitchen and boss her on how you want it done, and then need to remind her everyday how you want your tea mugs stored and how to mop the floor, and what window need immediate attention, and to remind her the clothes need to be taken out of the washing machine and hanged outside, and then make sure she water your plants just fine and then when you want to rest or have a little privacy have to invent a stupid errand to have her out of the house. Well true all this might save you the physical exhaustion, but it's replaced by unnecessary mental drainage and stress of being in charge of another human being on top of keeping all your household priorities on top of your head at all time. Not my thing AT ALL not for a billion...thanks very much

- Lack of physical activity: one of the reason why so many Aunties in big families are nearly morbidly obese comes from the fact they have too much hired help, they don't cook, clean or look for stuff in their own cupboard, send the maid to buy milk instead of walking down the street, if they need to go out most have a driver and all they do of their day is wake up get dressed, and sit in an armchair screaming orders around, most feel they need to keep their maid running all day and invent chores on the spurt of the moment just so they feel that the price they are paying for their service is justified, and while their maid keeps fit and will still look fab in her cheap Saree, Madame will look like a silk puff in her expensive outfit and eat all the snacks she had her cook make not because she is hungry but because an idle servant is bad, so you might as well ask her to go make samosas and pakoras all day long and eat them putting on a show to not make your hired help think she did it uselessly.

Now with all those reason tell me what is less healthy during my pregnancy huh? Remaining active and fit and do all the work myself? Or is it better to become a couch larva ooze fat from every seams, loose my mind over a misplaced safety pin wondering if I should blame the maid and not daring going out to face the world again to protect my honour from all the gossip and my material possession from a potential theft?

I made it clear that I chose option number one. I have a maid coming every morning for one hour to wash my dishes and mop my floor, all the rest, I can take care of myself thanks again.


  1. Anonymous8:33 PM

    what did you mean by middle class people?you cant even afford 750 rupees gas cylender?I didnt like your attitude towards country and people.why do you insists on overseas products??since you are from abroad you will not get what you had in your country.I also have lot of issues about products and services we get in america.I miss my full time maid,real cotton cloths (here its fake synthetic material),daily fresh cooked food(here frozen crap),good weather,fresh squeezed juice(here full of added preservatives)Having full time maid doesnt make you lazy instead gives a poor person an opportunity to stand on his own feet and feed his family.why dont you think that way?Even in my case I am from india and residing here in america but this country has given me so much just like my country and I believe in buying stuff which is available easily and not the useless things you loved back home.
    sorry to say you havnt seen real India.enjoy the easily available stuff.

  2. Dear anonymous, check my latest blog entry to you. And know that I am refraining myself from calling you clearly non-veg names at the moment. Both from me and my Indian husband who called you an idiot by the way.
    If you don't like my blog, don't read it, if you don't like how I write about your country suck it up, local medias use the same irony and tone, so just because I'm a foreigner means I don't have the right to a point of view on your country? Why is it that I have to hear people stereotype me, rip me off, telling me that foreing women are lazy sluts while you without voicing any disapproval, but that at the first opinion I might have about a country i've been living in for 6 years I am suddenly the bad guy?
    A little perspective please, and as I said in my entry to you (enjoy your moment of glory on my blog by the way), further comments will be deleted


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