Public me, private me

12:14 PM

Have any of you ever kept a journal? And I don't mean a blog, I mean one of these paper diary in which you write your intimate thoughts and private rambling?
I do, I started writing in a diary when I was 13 and have more or less kept doing it over the years, with a few iatus.
I'm blogging about this now because yesterday after my rant I realised that in the past 6 years I haven't written much on paper, it was all about this blog and nothing else. So I sat down found an almost empty spiral notebook and wrote 7 pages (letter format) about me, myself and I. And I came to the realisation that it was stupid to completely neglect these little private appointments I take with myself even if I have still kept true to my journaling addiction.
See my blog while being personal and about my life here in India, this is also the public part of who I am, this is what I want to reveal, what I don't have to question. My diaries are more intimate, darker sometimes, we all have demons to battle, we all have thoughts going through our mind, and most of us bottle up, for ages my journals were like my personal therapist, the way to unload the cart at the end of the day and ensure a good night of sleep, I rarely go read past entries.

My blog on the other hand is public and written to be read, by others more than me, but still contains a lot of my essential core traits.
Why do I write? I asked myself that just yesterday, and the answer is I love writing, I love the ability to put things down on paper or monitor, I love the feeling of letting my mind go in my diary and the challenge to not spill too much online.

Why this blog? I don't even who of my online friend suggested I write about what she described as an Adventure living in a different country, I didn't need more of an encouragement, a blog and a chronicle about how I see India and myself in it was just like tempting a kid with a candy. I never made the connection until now.
Does that make me a writer? Maybe Do I like re-reading the past, not really, but still do it from time to time to reassess what I am today. Will I continue this blog? Sure as hell yeah! I enjoyed it so much, and even more now. Am I boring you with a more personal entry? Maybe, but the choice to read or not is yours.

As much as I love writing I love reading, books and other blogs but here is a question for all my readers and I seem to have quite a few judging from the little widget I installed yesterday.
What brought you on this blog?


  1. Hey Cyn! I've been reading your blog, I'm guessing, since about 2005 when I was engaged to an Indian man and came across your posts on the IV-IR board. You were truly my inspiration to keep trying with my fiance at the time. Even though I ended my engagement, I continued to read your blog. One out of many things I love about your blog is that you write in such an authentic way, not sugar coating anything for the "sake" of writing for an audience. I appreciate your honest down-to-earth approach.

    I agree with what you wrote about journaling. I've written in my journal off and on since I was a child when we called that little book a diary with a miniature lock & key. :) Last week I was talking with my sister about how I need to start journaling again. I really don't like going back to reread my entries. For me, the writing has more of an in-the-moment value to it.

  2. Hi Di! thanks for the comment :-)

    I think over the years of journaling I had bought one or two diary with a lock and key because I thought they were cute, though since I lost the key on one I had to cut the strap lock and I think I stopped buying these, hidding them between clothes in my wardrobe when I was a teen worked better.
    And yes I agree the journal writing is pretty much the same for me being a in-the-moment thing. The few entries I re-read tend to shock me and amaze me because back then I was hung on some details who had apparently a lot of weight but now turn to be really trivial while some other entries are right on and still apply today.

  3. Hi. I will answer this question, even if it is asked 6 years ago. :D
    I started to read one blog about an European girl married to an Indian guy, through this I discovered severel other writers. I really liked some of your articles (I guess, the newest ones), so I felt I would like to know your story and started to read from the very beginning. After a month this is how far I am and I am not stopping here! :D
    Like it was mentioned above, I like your honest posts. I sometimes write a bit, too, but often somehow end up wanting to sound (unnecessary) polite and optimistic. I like, how you say exactly, how you feel.

    1. Hi Ronija!
      I am glad you took the time to answer my question :-) there is a huge lot of entries since this blog is now nearly 11 years old, I can only imagine how much time it must be taking, and I am happy to hear you are enjoying it.

      And thanks for all the nice words, it gives me warm fuzzies.


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