12:04 PM

I might have been in the boxes till my neck, then in post relocation vegetative state, but I have been following the news, and the one no one in India should have missed is the brutal Gang Rape of a 23 years old girl in Delhi, a rape that ended with the victim loosing her whole intestine, spending an agonizing nearly 2 weeks in hospital to finally succumb last night.
If you are reading this blog from abroad, Google it, you will get the details, but I warn you they aren’t for the faint hearted.
The good new is that for once the country is standing up for that girl, they just had one rape too many, the people took the streets in most cities, voicing their anger over how crimes against women have been handled all these years, it’s the tale of a population that is sick and tired of a government that is doing nothing to ensure the safety of all. I for myself hope the protests will continue, and that things will change, if not all at once, fast enough.

I myself have had more than enough to hear some of the educated Elite, both male and female question the motive of a girl out at 9pm, of people wanting to lessen a molester’s crime finding flaws in how the victim was dressed or where she was. I’m sick to hear that a girl with enough courage to report a crime is likely to end up being raped some more by the police. Things need to change, but sadly not where people think it should start. In the past few days there have been constant talks in the media of the urgent need to tighten the law, accelerate the judicial process in the case of a crime against a woman. And I agree it is needed, but will it be implemented when women in India are still seen as lesser than a man in traditions? NO, the change starts HOME, it’s respecting your mother and sisters as equal when you are a man, that means that they should eat at the same time as the men instead of waiting for the leftovers, that means festivals like Karva Chaut and Rakshabandhan should evolve too, why should a woman only fast for her husbands long life? The practice started centuries ago when the start of military campaigns were resuming at the end of the Monsoons and made sense then, but in today’s world? Men go to office the same as some women, and yet the one more likely to loose their life from doing so in a couple seem to be the woman, so enough with the whole concept, the festival should turn into a man and wife both wishing for a long life TOGHETHER, if one fast so should the other. Tying a rakhi? Why should the brother be the one offering protection to the sister in exchange of it? It becomes particularly ludicrous when the sister in question is much older and tying one to her 6 months old baby brother asking for his protection, what does that tell a girl? That she is weak and need a toddler to fight for her, that she’ll never be anybody without a man? ENOUGH! The festival should become yet again a mutuality thing, with siblings both tying a string to each other and vowing to protect one another, a tale of equals. And how is it that in India only a wife has to announce her marital status by wearing sindoor, glass bangles, toe rings and a Mangalsutra, while the husband gets to stay unadorned? Why is it that a widow is stripped of said ornaments and deliberately made to look like she lost everything while a man continue to be a man and have a life as a widower? Or you stop the practice for women or men start wearing marital attributes. Why is it that family honour should only be burdening the shoulder of a woman? has she committed such a sin to be born without the right genitalia that she should be blamed for every ills? If the man behave like an ass he isn’t brought to account, but a woman will even when she isn’t at fault.
More simply it once again boils down to the fact that baby girls are considered a burden and a liability, they are reminded so by antiquated patriarchal traditions all their life, while boys grow with an inflated ego and sense of importance they are not worthy of simply because they have a penis.

Pardon my French here but I say FUCK to that.

I have a daughter, and she will not be taught that she can’t do certain things simply for being a girl. Both my husband and I are however concerned about how things are going now, and we fervently hope things will change across the country, fully knowing that as parents of a girl it’s our job to raise her to be strong and proud to be who she is.
One great lady once said: No one should be made to feel inferior without their consent. her name was Eleanor Roosevelt.

Women of India, do not let any man in your life make you feel inferior…EVER, it starts at home, they have no right over your life and how you live it. You cooked the food, you deserve to enjoy it hot at the same time as the men in the house. You give birth to sons so your long life should be wished too, you go through child birth which means you are by no mean weak so why should you let your father, brother, and husband decide what you can or cannot do? Stand up for your right…NOW


  1. JustHeather3:21 PM

    well said cyn! i hope change happens also- it is unfortunate that it takes something so horrible to get people riled up, but that is how it has been most times when change does take place.

  2. Amen! to all that you wrote...sadly you are right: the big change that needs to happen is cultural, and that's not going to happen anytime soon, it seems. I am married to an Indian, and we have a young son and daughter. I refuse to raise them in India, for all these reasons you gave, and more. Not only because I want my daughter to be strong and independent, and not ashamed of being female, but also because I don't want our son to turn into an arrogant, sexist pig!

  3. The good new is that people are starting to be a bit more aware, but there is still a very long way to go. I always hoped of having a girl, and I got my wish, and she will grow to be taught to be proud of who she is, but should have I had a son, I would have done my darnest to raise him as a sensible respectful human being too. I actually have a friend who told me she refuse to bow down to her MIL's petty way and be the demure DIL simply because she wants her son to realise that this is wrong and only she can break that vicious cycle, hats off to her.

  4. I just hope her suffering and passing away is not going to be in vain and that people will continue her fight, that rape was by far the most horrible and gruesome I have ever heard being reported in the media in India.

  5. mumbailicious10:51 PM

    I absolutely agree. The problem is not the juridical system. It is not the punishment available to offenders but it is the way we - as a society - do look at girls and women. How we raise our sons and daughters. Treat our women and men. What we expect from them and how we deal with them when they don´t succumb to - sometimes archaic - rules and traditions. Fighting violence (not only against women) starts in every family, in every household and in every home.

    I put up something about this incident on my Blog,
    too. Maybe you want to check it out: http://mumbailicious.blogspot.de/2012/12/reclaiming-what-is-ours.html

  6. mumbailicious10:54 PM

    Cyn, I am impressed by your friend´s decision. Especially as foreigners (not knowing if she is one or not) we too often accept cultural norms which aren´t part of our upbringing, simply to fit in and not to be seen as an outsider. Unfortunately that often only cements the ways the Indian society works and gives a bad example to our children. Again, kudos to her!

  7. My Friend is Indian, making it even more impactful :-)

  8. Sorry your comment went straight to moderation because it contained a link, I whitelisted you now so it should not happen anymore, I am going to read your post now :-)

  9. A Merican Punjaban PI3:37 PM

    You're right. Something has got to change and it starts with raising the children and teaching the teens of this generation that girls are valuable....just as valuable as boys. It can be done. They just have to want to and that's where the problems come in. I hope the rally's continue and the government finally does the right thing.

  10. :)

    I too wrote about it! You are right, we need to change as a society. Any law will not be effective if as individuals our mindset does not improve


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