So what do you do? Do you work?
These are the question Stay at home moms find themselves in a pickle answering. Answer by the obvious: "I am a SAHM" and people will find themselves at loss for words, and probably a bit sorry for you too. Some might, after processing your answer, continue by asking something as inspired as : "Do you plan to go back to work one day?"
That one is the one that frankly irk me more than a sorry look. Because going BACK to work is a very ridiculous notion to have when facing a SAHM. It implies we do nothing, nothing but sitting in a comfy chair, sipping cocktails and relaxing. That our lives are easy, laid back, carefree...
Let me tell you that it sure feels peachy when you spent every single nights in an week waking up in the dead of the night because a monster lurked into your child's life, or you've been puked on, or peed on if they sleep in your bed. It sure feels smooth and relaxing when your toddler throws a temper tantrum because you rolled their French pancake instead of folding it (or the other way round). It is the absolute dream job when you realised Junior took an interest in their own poop and is smearing it all over the bathroom in glee.
A whole lot of nothing if you ask me. Yes, we indeed do nothing if the above doesnt count as work.
You see, the problem, is that society only see work as something you do in exchange of money. Hugs and kisses arent a currency. The long term gratification of having raised a child into a decent gown human being doesn't qualify as even remotely productive either. You can try to beat it, correct people, fight against the system, explain how cleaning play dough off the windows is indeed truly work, people are conditioned to think less of it.
And so, there is usually one more question that pops after you tried to explain that you work 24/7 as a SAHM and that no you have no intention of ever going "back" to work, because you in fact never ever stopped working in the first place. That question usually go along the line of "But then, what do you do when she is in school?"
Aha! That is a fine question! A very pertinent one indeed, thanks for asking!
In my case, the answer is usually: I paint, craft, and write, indulge in a hobby. This usually spark people's curiosity, they are showing an interest about these. Hobbies rank higher than unclogging the toilet, or removing namkeens from every possible nook and cranies, it is more socially acceptable to have a hobby if you dont have a paid work.
And I generally put emphasis on my artistic talent more than the fact that I write a blog. Because, you see, my blog is that thing I always felt special about, but too shy, too private to mention. Mentionning it would indeed admit to others, and to myself that my main hobby, the ultimate one, is writing. And, I never really felt or actually feel qualified to call myself a blogger or a writer.
The irony, is that this is who I am, and I have kept this very blog for 10 years now. It evolved, it changed name, it went from being an outlet for my thought, to being something I ended up spending more and more time working on. Heck, I even get paid writing it from time to time, and I love writing it.
In the past few weeks, I have been deliberating with myself about it. On how serious I was about introducing myself as someone other than the SAHM who has many crafty hobbies. I figured out that if I was going to start telling people I write a blog in my free time and be proud of it, I might as well be prepared to give the URL in a way people would remember it. Jotting that kind of thing on a scrap of paper or a napkin being the surest way to forget about it. So, after a lot of thinking, and researching, and designing, I came up with this :
My first grown up business card. I say grown up, because as a teen I had a card, they were suddenly all the rage among my peers, thanks to automated machines that could design them in minutes at the supermarket. Teenagers loved them, because we could even have little cartoon logos and feel very sophisticated handing them out to friends so they would remember to send us a postcard from their holiday destinations. Interesting to note that we were practicing the art of networking at a young age, without mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter and whatnot.
But. this business card is different, it is the first one that introduces who I am, and what I do (when I am not cleaning markers off the walls, or zapping monsters away).
It just took 10 years of blogging, a few guest articles for the Times of India, a few interviews for online communities, a few paid gigs and thousands and thousands of page hits to come up with the idea to promote myself as...well...a blogger.
These are the question Stay at home moms find themselves in a pickle answering. Answer by the obvious: "I am a SAHM" and people will find themselves at loss for words, and probably a bit sorry for you too. Some might, after processing your answer, continue by asking something as inspired as : "Do you plan to go back to work one day?"
That one is the one that frankly irk me more than a sorry look. Because going BACK to work is a very ridiculous notion to have when facing a SAHM. It implies we do nothing, nothing but sitting in a comfy chair, sipping cocktails and relaxing. That our lives are easy, laid back, carefree...
Let me tell you that it sure feels peachy when you spent every single nights in an week waking up in the dead of the night because a monster lurked into your child's life, or you've been puked on, or peed on if they sleep in your bed. It sure feels smooth and relaxing when your toddler throws a temper tantrum because you rolled their French pancake instead of folding it (or the other way round). It is the absolute dream job when you realised Junior took an interest in their own poop and is smearing it all over the bathroom in glee.
A whole lot of nothing if you ask me. Yes, we indeed do nothing if the above doesnt count as work.
You see, the problem, is that society only see work as something you do in exchange of money. Hugs and kisses arent a currency. The long term gratification of having raised a child into a decent gown human being doesn't qualify as even remotely productive either. You can try to beat it, correct people, fight against the system, explain how cleaning play dough off the windows is indeed truly work, people are conditioned to think less of it.
And so, there is usually one more question that pops after you tried to explain that you work 24/7 as a SAHM and that no you have no intention of ever going "back" to work, because you in fact never ever stopped working in the first place. That question usually go along the line of "But then, what do you do when she is in school?"
Aha! That is a fine question! A very pertinent one indeed, thanks for asking!
In my case, the answer is usually: I paint, craft, and write, indulge in a hobby. This usually spark people's curiosity, they are showing an interest about these. Hobbies rank higher than unclogging the toilet, or removing namkeens from every possible nook and cranies, it is more socially acceptable to have a hobby if you dont have a paid work.
And I generally put emphasis on my artistic talent more than the fact that I write a blog. Because, you see, my blog is that thing I always felt special about, but too shy, too private to mention. Mentionning it would indeed admit to others, and to myself that my main hobby, the ultimate one, is writing. And, I never really felt or actually feel qualified to call myself a blogger or a writer.
The irony, is that this is who I am, and I have kept this very blog for 10 years now. It evolved, it changed name, it went from being an outlet for my thought, to being something I ended up spending more and more time working on. Heck, I even get paid writing it from time to time, and I love writing it.
In the past few weeks, I have been deliberating with myself about it. On how serious I was about introducing myself as someone other than the SAHM who has many crafty hobbies. I figured out that if I was going to start telling people I write a blog in my free time and be proud of it, I might as well be prepared to give the URL in a way people would remember it. Jotting that kind of thing on a scrap of paper or a napkin being the surest way to forget about it. So, after a lot of thinking, and researching, and designing, I came up with this :
My first grown up business card. I say grown up, because as a teen I had a card, they were suddenly all the rage among my peers, thanks to automated machines that could design them in minutes at the supermarket. Teenagers loved them, because we could even have little cartoon logos and feel very sophisticated handing them out to friends so they would remember to send us a postcard from their holiday destinations. Interesting to note that we were practicing the art of networking at a young age, without mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter and whatnot.
But. this business card is different, it is the first one that introduces who I am, and what I do (when I am not cleaning markers off the walls, or zapping monsters away).
It just took 10 years of blogging, a few guest articles for the Times of India, a few interviews for online communities, a few paid gigs and thousands and thousands of page hits to come up with the idea to promote myself as...well...a blogger.