Updated: Aug 16, 2022
Be the change you want to see in the world! Who hasn't heard or read this famous Mahatma Gandhi's quote?
While he meant it in the context of society to change, I seriously think this quote is one we should all apply to our personal lives as well.
Too often we tend to wait passively until a change occur to start doing something, but it doesn't always happen and we keep on waiting passively for that one thing to happen to start living in a different way.
If you believe in the law of attraction, you probably know that to make anything manifest in your life, you need to start acting like it's already there instead of waiting until the thing manifest itself.
Last year, I was reading the book "Lucky Bitch" by Denise Duffield-Thomas (affiliate link) and had that "ah-ha moment" where the pieces fell together once and for all.
See, the law of attraction is all very nice, but the problem is that it's easier said than done living as if you already have something, especially when you are starting from nothing and this is why it can feel super discouraging at time. What most LoA books and guru out there tend to miss, is that you don't have to go all in when you try to manifest a new reality, especially if this new reality of yours demands a whole new income. You can go about it gradually and level up your life bit by bit until you reach your goal. if you've read the blog post about journaling for self-growth, you know that the first thing to do is to write down what your ideal life, money no bar would look like. Go about it in all the tiny details you can or want.
Once you have established that, look at what actionable steps you can take right away toward that life. It's not about going all the way to the goal, but finding the next doable step and then do it.
Frankly, that bit was a huge revelation to me, and it made the whole process a lot less daunting. I have big goals, who doesn't? But for the first time since last year, I realised that I could change certain things in my everyday life without having to wait until everything else fell into place. In my "first class life" I have a spacious bathroom with a bathtub in which I take bath with scented candles lit around. The bathroom of my dream also has a cosy, inviting decor. It's actually a far cry from the bathroom I already have : tiny, not the most practical, no bathtub...
Sure! I could wait until we move out of that place, luck out on a flat with a better bathroom, and hope that one day my dream bathroom will manifest. But that is not how things work, and there were actually several things I could do about my current bathroom anyway. For a start, scented candles do not require a lot of money and taking a nice warm shower with scented candles lit in the bathroom is as doable as with a bathtub, so I levelled up and started using some. Making a fairly impractical bathroom cosier just required a few Ikea shelves, an artificial plant and a cute basket filled with rolled hand towels, another thing that didn't break the bank.
What it did though is making me look forward to shower time and lifted my spirit up so I could tackle the rest of the day, or go to bed at night feeling more at peace. This slight shift in mindset got a cascading effect and I felt more relaxed, more productive and more tuned in to new opportunities that would take me closer to my main goals. See, when you start giving yourself more respect, you can hike your standards in life and take decisions that will be more in line with what you want. It's as simple as that.
Last year, I realised I was CONSTANTLY settling for things, playing myself down and quite frankly didn't put the amount of care about myself or my life that was in line with my goal. Exibit A : I was too stupidly frugal to discard old frumpy, holey underwear and indoor clothes for the sole reason that I spent "good money" on them and it would be a shame to throw them away before they fully disintegrated.
That's right! I was forcing myself to wear quite frankly, crappy clothes in the comfort of my home because it would save money! Quite incompatible with my money goals too, which include not being afraid to spend money or questioning the prices of things. Here I was, unable to let go of an old worn out pair of cotton Jockey panties! Good lord help me dear! Back then, I had to pretty much force myself to empty the entire content of my wardrobe and do some SERIOUS editing in the name of following what Denise said in her book. It was hard, I almost bailed a few times, but I pushed past it and it made room for not only better clothes, it also got me to reevaluate my standards a LOT.
A while ago, a friend shared a meme that said "You can't expect to be treated like a Louboutin if you act as a flipflop". This quote speaks volume about how we first treat ourselves directly affects how the rest of the world will react to us and how we will see the world. And in general, people tend to see you the way you project yourself, so we have a big degree of control over that narrative since then change starts with us right?
Give yourself a level up challenge
Last year, I gave myself one whole month to do something each day to change my current lifestyle, mindset and situation and brought me closer to that "First class life" We were on lockdown, stuck at home while the Delta wav raged across India, but I still stuck to it. I took time each day to journal about it in a way or another to keep a log, 30 days of it actually kickstarted the habit for the rest of the year.
The steps don't have to be big, they just have to bring you closer to your goal and hike your level of self-respect. As I said, I started with putting candles in my bathroom and discarding old frumpy underwear, hardly the kind of earth shattering move huh?
So, let's say your ultimate goal if finances aren't an issue is to get your nail done and have regular sessions at a fancy spa. You don't have to actually wait until you have the perfect income to act on that goal. The next step could be to just buy a manicure set in your current price range and start doing your nails at home. Or buy skin care products within your current budget and start using these regularly. Or, if your current budget allows it, make it a goal to go to a salon once a month to get a basic mani-pedi. The point is, you've got to start levelling up somewhere and go about it in increments. Each steps that bring you closer to your ultimate goal, no matter what that goal is will also boost your confidence in the fact this crazy goal IS indeed possible.
rinse and repeat once a year
The challenge is one you can repeat once a year, dedicating a whole month to levelling up your life further. Get comfortable into your new personal reality, live it and enjoy it, and then dive back in and see what next step you can take from there and take it. Chances are you WILL face resistance again, your inner voice is going to protest it and try to get you to maintain the status quo again, so like the first time, you'll need to journal it out, and if you encounter any mental blocks along the way, journal about these too. If you don't know how, I encourage you once more to read "Journaling for self-growth".
Along with the book Lucky Bitch, I also recommend you read "Get Rich Lucky Bitch" as a follow up. Both those links are Amazon affiliate links, this means I get paid a commission if you buy anything. But as a rule I never recommend things I haven't tried and tested myself and those books are quite frankly among the best I read on the subject of self-development, they are specially geared toward women who have quite frankly been conditioned by society to play it safe, dim their light, and settle for things rather than go for what they TRULY want.
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